I didn’t want to write…
I didn’t think I would ever write, or wake up or breathe again … without her…
But as the days pass I realize how many ways this little angel inspired me.
Both my children and my super dad husband inspire me, but this little girl pushed me to be a better version of myself.
I was pregnant with Adriana in 2013, when I was inspired to follow my long time passion to work with children.
Leaving a more than decade career in marketing, to follow my true passion of working with children.
9 months in my belly, she heard and practiced with me all the songs and routines, until I got my Kindermusik license.
She and her amazing big brother, inspired me to leave my comfort zone, and be a full-time mom… a super mama for these angels… and their love fueled me to help others… Super Mama Lebanon was created in 2014…
Saturday 7 January 2017, was just like any weekend.
Adriana came to my classes in the morning, played while I gave a class.
We went to the supermarket together, as the boys had their own plans.
Went back home, to rest a little, have lunch, then join a friend and her daughter for a playdate.
Just a normal day. Nothing out of the ordinary.
She fell asleep in the car and I carried her to her bed.
She woke up at around 2 a.m. and told me she wanted to vomit.
Not projectile, just a little. She vomited throughout the night around 4 times – no fever, no other symptom. Each time she told me she felt better and went back to sleep.
At 6 a.m. her brother woke up, and she asked me if she can join him to watch cartoons.
She left our bed, held his hand and they went to watch Peppa Pig.
I followed her, 5 minutes later, and we just lay there watching TV.
Still having very little energy, she slept and woke all morning, just like any other flu symptom, but no fever.
At 9:30 a.m., she was sitting and asking for some water – actually arguing with me that the water bottle was half empty…
9:40 a.m. she collapsed… we live 3 minutes away from a major hospital… but she was already gone.
70 minutes the emergency room team tried to revive her… but she wouldn’t come back… she was too special for this world.
So what happened? Why did this Happen? What did we do to deserve this incredible pain and loss?
Was there something I missed?
So why am I writing today, when tears keep running down my face and breathing becomes more difficulty with each word I write…
I couldn’t save my daughter… but maybe she can save a life.
Long QT syndrome (LQTS) is a rare congenital and inherited or acquired heart condition in which delayed repolarization of the heart following a heartbeat increases the risk of episodes of torsades de pointes (TdP, a form of irregular heartbeat that originates from the ventricles). These episodes may lead to fainting and sudden death due to ventricular fibrillation. (Source: Wikipedia)
No symptoms. Nothing we could have done…
At this age, no EKG tests are ever requested, especially when we had a normal and active child, as Adriana so passionately was. Now in my 30s, I have never had an EKG…
IF YOU HAVE A HISTORY OF HEART PROBLEMS IN YOUR FAMILY PLEASE INFORM YOUR DOCTOR. ANY AGE. ANY TIME.
The guilt and pain, me and her dad feel are immense…
As parents, we are the ones that should protect our kids from everything… As parents, we should leave this earth before them…
It’s been a week and all we did was ask ourselves What if we did this… What if we there were signs we missed… why didn’t we know… how could we…
Adriana was my best friend.
Adriana was daddy’s little princess.
Adriana was the best little sister her brother could have.
Adriana is an Angel…
We promise to make you proud Nana …
Thank you for the best 3 years & 4 months we have ever lived…
Until we meet again my love…
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.