“My God, how much is one child equipped to take on?
Your daughter is breaking her back trying to please you. You’ve already filled her schedule fully with all the studying and after school activities. You want her to cut out sleep as well?”
“ I’m sorry? Well, we think she can do much better”
“You’ve really got to think about what you’re doing here. Whose dreams are being realized with all these activities?”
“Her dreams, of course! This is all for her!”
Does this scenario sound like you?
How many parents out there are living their unrealized dreams through their children?
How many parents truly believe that by teaching more stuff to their children they are helping them become better individuals, more driven and more successful in the future?
Thus making them adopt a way of life full of effort and hard work.
Are you always jumping in to prevent your children from making mistakes or bail them out when they do make them?
Think for a moment about the amazing, unique, gifted child you have.
Your child needs to have fun, play and learn in the school of life just as much as he/she is learning in actual school.
I know many parents live in the fear that their children may sometimes:
- Make mistakes
- Be embarrassed
- Feel bad about themselves
- Be judged as incompetent
- Not get good grades
- Lose confidence in their abilities
- Not live up to their potential
Underlying such concerns are parents’ wishes for their children to be perfect.
They want to protect them from the unpleasant feelings that come from having messed up.
Parents, worry no more!
The good news is that making mistakes is very good for your kids.
If you teach them at home that mistakes can be opportunities to learn from, then valuable lessons can be taught to your kids when they mess up.
- They can learn that making mistakes is part of life.
- They can learn to survive mistakes rather than be crushed by them. They don’t have to be perfect; they will pick themselves up, and start all over again with more determination and confidence.
- This way you will bring up resilient kids, who do not give up when the going gets tough and who don’t fall apart when they don’t succeed the first time.
- They are not fragile and feel defeated when they make an error.
- Instead they face their mistakes, change their attitudes and behaviors and strive to do better next time.
By allowing your children to face the natural consequence of their decisions while they are still young and at home, you can be there to help them deal with the issue. You can provide support by helping them learn from the situation and find ways to avoid the same mistake in the future.
Don’t fix their mistakes because then they may keep repeating them and you can’t trust their judgment.
Only when kids confront the same situation and make a different choice on their own can you start trusting their judgment. This will show signs of maturity and responsibility.
Parents chill and relax!! Your children in everyday life will have many opportunities to face the consequences of their errors because young kids in general lack judgment and will make mistakes.
Life can help you teach them better judgment if you don’t rush to protect them every time from the natural consequence of their behavior.
You can help your children adopt the attitude that mistakes are for learning by modeling the same approach yourself: Be forgiving of yourself when you mess up. Let them know you are not perfect and that you use your mistakes as opportunities to reflect on how you can do better next time. Be forgiving of them too when they make mistakes.
So parents relax a little bit, allow your children to choose their own activities, to choose to do nothing sometimes, to do their own mistakes and let them learn from the errors of their decisions.
Let your kids have those difficult and humbling learning experiences and trust that through the discomfort that often comes with their mis-haps, they can learn to cope with life’s inevitable challenges and gain confidence as they do so.
This Article was contributed by:
Blossom Into Life
Certified Professional Co-Active Life Coach CPCC, PCC (ICF)
MAKE SURE TO JOIN AN UPCOMING PARENTAL COACHING SEMINAR BY GRACE KHLEIF
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Grace Ghannoum Khleif is a certified Professional Co-active Life Coach (CPCC, PCC) trained and accredited by the Coaching Training Institute, USA. She is also a certified Hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner, Reiki master, Access Bars Practitioner, and a Certified Theta Healer. In her capacity as a wellness and relationship coach, Grace, a long time mother and wife uses her extensive life experiences and acts as a role model for her clients. She focuses on dealing with emotions and self- development and tackles the whole life in order to help her clients achieve fulfillment, attain their goals and reach happiness and peace of mind.
She works one on one with clients as well holds group coaching sessions, seminars and workshops in emotional intelligence, relational needs, career development, and stress management among many other interesting topics.
She is a member of The International Coach Federation and founding member of Lebanese Coach Association.
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